A conspiracy within!

Often, while running after big dreams, when that small dreams are left behind, we don’t even realize until it’s too late but is it too late really? Think about the last time you felt happy from the heart? When have you last time overslept without a worry of what next and is not regretful about it? Ok, when was the last time, you stared at your room’s walls blankly without actually thinking what next but still thinking? When was the last time you don’t find yourself guilt-stricken when you enjoyed doing something except your work or wasting your time without actually wasting it? Do you still remember your little childhood fantasies or dreams? Do you still think back to the things that use to give you immerse happiness or have to completely transform yourself for this horse race we all are running?

We always try to find answers, answers for the questions asked, unasked. You know why? Have you got the answer? Have ever felt trapped in them? Tangled in your thoughts or bounded in the thinkings that are inserted in your mind by society, by the surrounding, by the people you are surrounded with and you find yourself more caged in finding reasons and excuses, maybe you want an escape, but to where? A place to hide, away from reality, away from judgments, a place where everything is like a dream you saw but? Why everything always has to be perfect? Is that what you have chosen yourself or you have been made to do so?

Perhaps you are imprisoned in your reflections, those introspections which you are afraid to face. Is that you? What is causing more damage, your low self-esteem, you doubting yourself, again and again, maybe circumstances made you do this but what about that hope, which you are crushing yourself bit by bit. Yup, that feeling of helplessness but can you control everything except keeping your little faith alive. May be difficult but isn’t it about you in the end? Yes, it is difficult to choose an option, an optimism without optimism, or maybe just pretending. You are deceiving yourself in the process.

Life is colorful but we are shades of grey, not completely white, not completely black yet we carry a lot of colors inside us. Sometimes or other, we all must have been a hypocrite, don’t you agree, we do change accordingly so why can’t we change for something positive, when change is constant, can’t we change our outlook? Don’t you think we all are living a purposeless yet purposeful life, not the ultimate purpose, maybe we are missing out on something or maybe just blinded ourselves for it? But still, for a big leap, small steps are important, to fly you need wings and an open limitless sky and when you are tired, you need a nest to rest which you have to find yourself. Think but not think, find your nest of small happiness to come back to when you are chasing a big one for that big leap that is contouring inside you, to bounce back again to heights without forgetting about the ground.

Unwind that conspiracy!!!!

Thank you for reading!

Read more –

• Insanity?
• GAZING THE FUTURE
• A life update!!!!
• Was she living?
• Soul – Antidote?

PAUSE

We assure and reassure ourselves, it is ok, it is absolutely fine, it is just a little late, everything will fall into place one day, till then keep some patience and wait. But does it worth the wait? Does it worth your time? Always trying to be positive, but how can one be positive all the time, negativity does stick sometimes around, everything seems too meaningless, doesn’t it? It feels like over positive behavior too can cause pain unknown to us, creating more misery? Even why, when, what, and how becomes senseless questions with no answers, laughing at us. Giggling finally they succeed in crushing the wall of confidence, minor but damage is executed. Seems bizarre? How easily we broke on silliest things around, don’t we or maybe not, and sometimes strongest of storms can’t make us leave our path, seems strange, isn’t it?

If we can’t accept what is present, how can you be so sure you will accept the future and will be satisfied? But does accepting the present make things easy, maybe not until we realize what went wrong but does the realization is also enough? Or does thinking and accepting all the possibilities before only will help? You can’t control your mind that much, do you? Well, there is no surety of anything but we assume it to be. Oh! Just never-ending ambitions and thoughts you know. But what about that flaw in the present, have you worked on it, learned from it? Does keeping positive behaviour is enough? Have you sincerely worked for it? Have you? You can lie to everybody around you, lie to the world but can you tell a lie to yourself? Truth is inside you, doesn’t it? Truth or untruth may be difficult but even that injury can be healed.

It is on you, only on you, your decision, your choice, which side you want? How you wanna look up to the things, how much it matters to you? Does it will bring any change in your life or the lives of the people connected to you. Materialistic or unmaterialistic ones but does it will bring that difference? Think, think, do it will make you what you always wanted to be, does it? Life happens to be big but it is so small, isn’t it? Insignificant becomes significant. Important to unimportant, may be changed in our priories and more understanding. Press the pause button for a second, give it a thought, and play, maybe you will discover the quest and a new notion.

Thank you for reading!!!!

A tiny note from the writer –

Hey, how are you all, hope you all are doing good. A VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR, a time for a new beginning with a fresh start and new hopes, I hope it will fulfill all your wishes. Last year was difficult but we do learn from it too, and we do realize at one time or other, what thing matters actually, do we? Now with all the learning and happenings, we are entering this new year, hope it will turn out to be the year you want, the way you want it. The vaccine is around the corner, Ya, I know how much we all are waiting for it, so a big congratulations on it too. STAY SAFE, STAY HEALTHY, KEEP SMILING.

I know, I have been inactive, for a long time, was kinda occupied with work and studies, my sincere apologies for that, have missed reading your wonderful blogs, will try to catch all of them soon. I really wanna thank you.

Thank you!!!!

Planning!!!

We plan, we always plan, wanting it to happen the way we want, accomplished like we wish it to be, always perfect, as we plan. Sometimes we even do planning to make a planning in advance. Hoping to, aspiring to, desiring it, aiming it, expecting it, yes, expectations, and here planning if expectations fail, planning if that longing got fulfilled. And our expectations do turn us more anxious and sometimes make us believe as if we don’t deserve it at all or might give us so much confidence, that handling it makes us zombies.

Running a blind race, we are running in a crowd yet alone, it is never-ending, and quitting is never an option. We have plan B if plan A fails, and alphabets till Z but sometimes we all do wonder, what is after that Z, what if everything turns out to be not we want. But we plan again, yes, planning not to cry, planning how to react, planning how to act. Planning the escape.

And in the end, we do forget, everything is not in our hands, life always opens its cards, when the actual time came, till everything is concealed, even our planning which we do with eyes open and close, each moment, each second. The universe is already conspiring may be for us or against us, time will tell. Till then, do your planning and keep patience and hope.

Thanks for reading.

Insight!!

At times, you get the glances of all the potential you have, but you are afraid to endorse it. You close your eyes or just overlook those moments, those pursuits. You doubt your intuition. You distrust your instincts. Disjudegemets or disagreements?

Somewhere deep down in your mind you know literally what you are worthy of, capable of but you are not ready to accept it. You can achieve it. You can get there but how? You set the boundaries, you decide your limitations, your threshold. This is it, just cross that line a little. Hindrances or setbacks? You are more than that.

Make a sacrifice, of everything, even of yourself, or your habits, dependence, whatever comes in the way of your success. Eliminate the situations, standing in your path. Obsession or insanity, you can say, but only you can do it, it is all your will, your will to move ahead, your will to make them insignificant. Are you willing to do?

Emerging courage, courage to accept the change. The appearance of a different perspective. Are you determine enough? A new vision? An insight into unsaid.

Thanks for reading!!!

Uncertainty!

We all live in some kind of uncertainty. Sometimes how things unfold even you don’t realize. How to react, why, and what becomes uncertain itself. Life is indeed unpredictable but what to say on things which we somehow know deep down will happen one day but you never imagined your reaction, maybe that should be left for that moment but what to do with this anxiety. Is it that way or something else.

Permanent or temporary? But this uncertainty is probably momentarily till new one arises and you start overthinking again or not overthinking just anticipation. What about those eras of vacuum and void? You feel so empty that nothing matters, you stop questioning and leave it, accepting everything as it is, believing maybe it is best but you do feel something is left. Something is missing.

Losing, wanting, omitting, ignoring till? Falling or failing? Break out from the uncertainty or insecurities. Continuous, endless skepticism. The feeling as if you are moving forward but still standing at the same place not able to accept the change or that is actually not the change just ignorance. You are kinda misplaced perhaps.

Thanks for reading.

Assimilate it…

Sometimes you just keep on dragging things, digging the grave, buried them so deep, making a mausoleum, but is it really so? No argues, no ego, no screams, no cries, no sobs, a silence of eternity till, till it starts killing you inside. Do you try to listen? The plants having those strong roots of pain with leaves of grief, growing on the tomb. It keeps on heaping, to erupt. It grows, till it makes cracks on that crypts, on the surface to come out.

You argue, with yourself, for yourself. You shout, you disguise, to protect yourself, from your temperaments. You keep on running, to find the place, desired one, secure one, will you ever be able to, with all your personalities, same person, different identities. Are you normal? Do you know even yourself? Whom are you really safeguarding? Yourself or your attitudes?

Ego, superego, id clashes, all the time. Are you aware enough? Conscious enough to distinguish? Do you hear the sounds of these conflicts? You know the way, still, you do not know. Accept or not, this is what it is and will always be. It is hidden yet so evident, not with these eyes, not with these senses you comprehend. Absorb the essence and engulf it, you know what it is?

Thanks for reading!!!

Read more-

• Insanity?
• GAZING THE FUTURE
• A life update!!!!
• Was she living?
• Soul – Antidote?

Maybe…

Perhaps we all are living in the hex, some kind of magic or dream, Maybe we all are trapped in some bubble, Possibly there is actually no Time, Maybe someone is controlling us, maybe we all are in a simulation, one day that bubble will burst or we will wake up from that dream, facing the reality.

I want to but still don’t want to, maybe we love this trance, a spell of vicinities, perhaps this is best for us but maybe it is not, and what we don’t know certainly what we are not, entangled in the coop. Liberation from? or perhaps it is reality and we are just doing imagination.

Recovery under process, maybe lessons before facing the existing and breathing?

Thanks for reading!!!

Read more –

• Insanity?
• GAZING THE FUTURE
• A life update!!!!
• Was she living?
• Soul – Antidote?

Wait For Right Time!!!!

Hey, how are you all? Hope you all are doing great and taking all the precautions. So, I am back again, with my talks regarding us, the homo sapiens. One of the common attitudes of all of us, I would say, is” I will do this work, someday, some other time, there is still time remaining.” But I would say, that someday, that some other times actually never come, it precisely means never“. Do you agree with me?

How we waste time, on thinking much, doing all the procrastination possible but in actual, not a single thing is done and all the time goes in vain which would have been used in a more productive way. Let me give one example when exams are near, students used to think, I would have done studies from the beginning, I would have done that, now the time is less, how will I prepare, etc thinking, overthinking the entire day, and in short, if you look, on the broader side, they have wasted the whole day, means one more day less, which if they utilized at their potential without doing procrastination, would have helped in their preparation and helped them gain confidence with a positive attitude. The time which is gone is gone, now look at the time you have and do your best. “Stop being afraid of what will happen or what will go wrong, you can also think what will go right and what more I can do to make it even better. Learn from the mistakes you did, improve your present and future will surely smile.”

One of the things, I have observed over the years is people look for the motivational videos, how to do this, how to qualify, etc, I am not saying don’t watch, but how many of you actually work after watching, watching is different, doing is different, they have done that, but you have to actually do work to achieve something, those videos will not do this, so basically, if you have not done anything in that direction, you again wasted time. And also, one important thing, whom you are looking up for the motivation and help, the judge that wisely, there is no shortcut to anything as shown in many videos, one video I came across recently is how to crack entrance exams in one month without any study whole year, keep away from these types of things they misguide you, nothing can beat the consistency and hard work, if you get success by any shortcut, you will never value it and it will not be permanent.

Also, I have seen, people complaining lacking motivation, but you can not be always motivated, motivation comes from within, someone can motivate you but that is temporary, I can say this based on my experience too, it is how much that thing matter to you, and more than that, the key is discipline and hard work. If you are disciplined, even if you are not motivated that day, like not in the mood, then also, you can utilize your not so good day in something productive, maybe little, but you will not do overthinking and then, again will do overthinking why I have wasted time in overthinking and the cycle continues. See the amount of time wasted. Just sleep, if you don’t want to do anything, you will have a fresh mind, start again, yes, sleeping can help and do wonders.

For success and to reach great heights, the question is not how and where , it is when, when you decide to do it when you decide to work at your full potential when you wnat it that desperately that everything else look small in front of it when you have decided to use that conserved energy hidden in yourself when you actually learn the importance of time and hard work.

You all must have heard this-” IF YOU ARE WAITING FOR THE RIGHT TIME, IT’S NOW.”

Thanks for reading!!!

Saturday Six Word Story# 10 – Money

This is in response to the Saturday Six Word Story Prompt (6WSP) #48 – July 25, 2020, by Shweta of My Random Ramblings and prompt for this week is Money

And here are my takes –

1. He has undiagnosed Prince Charming Syndrome.

In this person believe like winning a lottery, or the compassionate universe to provide the money for their financial needs, government assistance, or family inheritance, someone else to save them from financial debt, etc. People who depend on others or seek for others to depend on their income to survive without doing anything themselves to earn money. It is one of the types of money disorders.

2. Living in denial and extreme under-spending.

It is another type of money disorder, known as Money Avoidance Disorder, in which, the person lived in denial of finances, avoiding to face reality, even when having an excess of money or savings, don’t spend them or invest them and don’t want to take any risk.

3. Due to gambling, no money left.

Gambling meaning, playing for the chance of money, this is now, been included as one of the mental health disorders, as in few, it becomes, addiction like any drug addiction or alcohol addiction and can do anything for it and needed treatment.

4.Uncontrolled over-spending and compulsive buying.

This can be another money-related disorder included as a Compulsive buying disorder in which people can’t control their urge to buy and usually overspends, which can lead to financial losses and the whole family can suffer due to it as they spend max part of their income, can take the form of the accumulation of a large amount of debt; continuous spending, despite resolutions to stop; hiding of purchases from loved ones; being more excited about making the purchases than owning the items. The person might feel a sense of shame after purchasing something. The cause of this symptom usually deals with coping with stress, pain, and trauma.

5. Only money can give me happiness.

Another money disorder, Money worshipping disorder in which person is obsessed with obtaining more money and simply believe that the only way to progress in life is to have more money and at the same time believing no matter the amount of money they have it won’t meet their desires and wishes.

These are a few types of Money disorders that lead to clinically significant stress and distress and affect individual life. Currently, only gambling and compulsive buying disorder have been included in the ICD and DSM as psychiatric problems. But many people suffering from money dysfunction disorders go undiagnosed who need help in one form or another.

Thanks for reading!!!! I hope I have not bored you with these 😅😅

Please Think…….

Hey, you all, How are you? Hope you are doing great and are safe. Please follow all the precautions as COVID cases are increasing at alarming rates now, so Be Extra Careful. And Be positive. So, here I am again with some real talks and my thoughts.

One thing that I absolutely hate is arrogance and only my attitude of the people. Ok, you have the knowledge, you are the best, can’t you be a little bit humble. What is this only I know everything attitude, you are just a human being, and I am sure, nobody has complete knowledge of everything on this planet if there is anyone, you are the creator, but sadly you are not, you can’t ever be, not even in your dreams, what you know is just a drop in this big ocean. And you judge each and everyone with your information but there are 2 sides of the coin, you never know, the whole truth, cannot make the decisions either.

Let me give one example, people are blaming and questioning our Prime Minister a lot, about his decisions in the present time. Ok, I am not saying I agree with all his decisions but I do respect him and What he has been going through had not been faced by any other leader of the present. Taking tough decisions is not easy. Ok, most of the people who are questioning him, complaining, suggesting this should be done that way , ok , fine answer me when most of you sometimes find it difficult to take a decision for your life, you say, it is great pressure, can you just imagine, how much pressure that single person must be having on his head, and see his age too. His single decision can affect the lives of 140 crore people. Not just that, he has to face a lot of opposition, handling different countries, war situations at any moment, and many other things, can you imagine yourself at his place and let keep yourself calm to maintain harmony .

I don’t know, they will prove right or wrong, but I can say, what is best for a moment, he is trying to do. Can you name me a single leader, who has guts to take such tough decisions or can handle these demanding times, better, sorry, I can not see anyone around? What is our present will be our past one day and what is the future will be present, but the irony is we talk about the past and future, forget about the present which matters the lot. When he visited, the Leh, recently, there are few people saying, he should have gone to the exact location, where our brave soldiers have died, I just want to ask, are you out of your mind or highly intoxicated, No it is not at all dangerous for a prime minister, of country, to go on the exact border location with no training in military and we trust our friends fully, they will not do anything.

Sitting on social media and judging and passing comments etc and lectures are always easy, doing is difficult, very very difficult. What most of the people are doing, spreading so much hatred, so much negativity, that it becomes impossible to open any social media account. I am just today, only, seeing the video of Amitabh Ji corona positive report when my eyes fell on few comments below, they said, it’s good you get positive, you should suffer you are like that, you have done this that, etc. I am stuck, at the insensitivity, people have, going on insensitivity if you can circulate the pics of one who died, you are far moved out of the zone and don’t call yourselves humans. If someone from, your near ones gets some disease then also you will say, it’s good, you should suffer. The great hypocrites we are, lacking not only empathy but sympathy too. So sorry, with sympathy I come to remember, they are few people too, who were sympathetic for death of cruel criminals, who are an actual threat.

People criticize, criticism is not bad, and important too, but till what level, till what limit? This does not mean, you criticize someone to the level, that they will start questioning even there existence. There is a small line between good and bad criticism which I think, nowadays nobody bothers to realize.

Please don’t judge and use your words wisely, your words have power, it can destroy anybody and can build anybody. Before speaking, think. Why spread hatred and negativity? We can spread happiness and love too. We all are facing this together, it is not for a single individual, so can we don’t come together and fight all monsters of humans and win again to shine again so righty be proclaimed as the humans.

Thank you for reading it and do share with me your thoughts too.